Gracefall & reFresh Cohorts
Why Cohorts?
reFresh has been running two-year spiritual formation cohorts for many years. Historically, over the two-year period, “cohortians” gathered six times for four days and three nights at a Bed & Breakfast, where they can “get away for awhile.”
The two-year model creates a necessary consistency and adds practice and depth of relationship through time. reFresh and Gracefall will start new cohorts as needs arise, so multiple cohorts might be running simultaneously. Below are the cohorts that are already in the books. Others can be added through collaboration and as needed. Below are some ideas for cohorts that might be helpful.
Trauma, Abuse, & Shame
Dan Allender states that 65-80% of all ministry professionals were abused and most have not dealt with it. And while it is appropriate and good to minister acknowledging our scars, when we minister from our woundedness, we invariably wound others. This cohort is a group therapy cohort. Wounds occur in the context of relationship. Healing must occur in the same context. This cohort is designed to help participants discover and address how the past is affecting their present relationships in a safe and controlled fashion. Some groups like this are called “survivor groups.” That is a very appropriate name. Allender continues, "My story bears too much heartache to be ignored and too much beauty to be hidden. It is the same with your life." This cohort embraces this truth of our lives.
Addiction
“Not being present; black & white thinking; a need for control, being too nice or too good; needing to be liked; seeking approval rather than substance.” These are all symptoms of a secret life and possibly addiction. Behavioral addictions are tricky because they are habituated behaviors that at one time or another probably saved the addict’s life. They mimic the deal with the devil that though they save you at the beginning the kill you at the end and in ministry they always cause spiritual abuse (“Using God as a carrot or a club to get people to behave in the way you want them to” [Johnson & VanVonderen, 1991, The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse]). It could be argued that addicts need to resign from ministry. Perhaps that is true, but then who would understand how to minister to the addict. I know that I don’t want someone whose never experienced addiction ministering to me. They can’t understand my world. This is for those in need of resurrection and desperate to experience it.
Children of Evangelicals
Growing Up Holy & Wholly, by Ken Sloat, addresses the reality that many children who grow up in “rule centered” Christian homes share many traits with children who grow up in alcoholic homes. The same rules of “Don’t talk, don’t trust, don’t feel,” mimic the family rules in alcoholic households. These “rules” impede our ability for healthy relationships with God or other humans, slowing the Spirit’s sanctification process in us. This therapy group, will focus on the present to address the sins perpetrated against us in the past. The classic, popularized term for our ailments after growing up in such a home is, “Co-dependency.” We are marked by the need to please, to control our worlds, and to get our sense of self worth from how we think we are making others feel.
Marriage, Family, & Ministry
Marriage is the primary building block of the Church. It is also the primary modality in which we mirror back to God the Imago Dei. That is not to say that singles cannot mirror back the Imago Dei, simply to say that marriage is the primary relationship where it is mirrored back. Because of this, marriage is the place where evil is most likely to attack ministry professionals. Raising a family as ministers who are paid to be good – or at least not be bad – is particularly tricky in today’s world particularly. There are all sorts of tools out there to help us enter into our marriage relationships more effectively. They are too numerous to name. And, there are way too few places where we can work out the nitty-gritty honestly with other couples and talk about our heartbreak, sorrow and shame. This cohort is perhaps the most courageous and the gentlest. It empowers couples to go to war on the spouses behalf, being singularly unafraid to address the toughest and most shameful subjects that women and men can imagine. It allows couples to feel that they are not alone, helps create empathy and calls forth honesty. We will meet in our brokenness at the foot of the cross together, blending the best of modern neuroscience and orthodox theology to build stronger spouses and parents.
